Two weeks ago I lost my job abroad.
Yes, it happens.
I was devastated. Or at least my ego was devastated.
It was due to my own wrong doing. I had to wait a bit to write this to make sure I didn’t let my resentment get the best of me.
I also found out my grandpa passed away four days earlier. My last of three grandpa’s. I carry a lot of guilt for not visiting him before I left. I was in total shock finding this out. We often take life for granted, we forget to visit our elders, spend time with them and appreciate them. Losing anyone while being away is my absolute biggest fear and here it was. I spent the morning meditating at a waterfall inside temple grounds. I shared my thoughts and love with my grandpa. I quietly listened as the universe spoke. I counted my heartbeats as tears ran down my face.
What has this taught me?
To keep moving forward, nothing in life is constant. I have learned that being physically unpresent does not mean I am not spiritually, and emotionally unpresent. I am continuing to catch up with myself on the inside. My heart knows the beat of my drum and sometimes it takes a while for my head to start dancing. I have to continue to follow the invisible line the universe has laid out for me. When the energy is no longer powering that line it is time to move in a different direction.
I believe when a person chooses to alter their life as I did when I made the choice to go traveling and take a break from work and school, the universe may have a few storms brewing. Yet I can’t fathom my universe convicting me for stepping outside of the norm. I can say after reflecting that we as humans are powerful beings. I can see now, how I manifested this event, my attitude and my thoughts were clearly done with this place. I had begun my journey onwards, started saving money, and researching for my next destination. I was unhappy and overworked to say the least. I loved what I did, I love the clients, and the job itself. Other aspects of it chipped away the joy I found. With that said, I asked and the universe simply answered. Ultimately giving me an ego check along with the freedom to continue traveling.
Structure, and routine is an environment I thrive in. Or I used to thrive in. I find that my free spirit and desire to live life free from standards overturns my once structured and routine lifestyle. Today my passion for connecting with self, unfamiliar land and faces, different languages, & unforseen adventures. I feel most comfortable waking up not knowing what the day is going to bring.
The lessons I am going to learn about myself, the different languages I can learn to say hello in.
I can feel the energies of the earth calling me to all different corners.
The laughs I have inside waiting to run down my face with new souls I encounter.
Mornings spent with locals sipping coffee from the local farm and foreign landscapes in the background.
Watching the moonrise with a different perspective.
Tasting the saltwater from a new sea.
Losing this job may have been the best thing to ever happen to me. You see at first, loosing something can be so detrimental. We spiral into emotion and resentment sometimes panicking and acting out of fear. Today, I have grown so much from that once unstable human. Yes I cried a bit, and experienced anger and resentment. But within hours I was problem solving. Traveling alone has taught me to constantly problem solve. Instead of ringing my parents, freaking them out and asking them to rescue me I solved my own damn problems. Being so far away from home and any sort of rescue scheme we have set up for ourselves I have learned that I constantly have to save myself. We are responsible for our feelings, and how we react to them. Today I can manage my emotions AND my reactions. This due to the fact that I have put myself in a foreign land for 9 months now and while traveling nothing goes as planned.
Needless to say “The best plan I ever had, was not to have a plan at all.”
So, as I began to realize that I had no control over this situation, I was utterly powerless, and quiet frankly I really did not want to change it. I remembered how much faith I had in my god before coming out here.
“Don’t tell your god how big the storm is, tell the storm how big your god is”
I knew my journey was not over. I knew I was not ready to come home yet.
Instead of thinking I have to go home
Instead of calling mom and dad for rescue
Instead of panicking
Instead of thinking this is how the story ends
I begin to do what any good traveler does. Finding my next destination.